Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
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ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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