I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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