woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
