Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
