he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
