How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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