I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
