Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
