Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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