took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
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Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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