What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
