some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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