That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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