So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
