hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
