guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
