so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize