Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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