Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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