I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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