I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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