if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
