dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i permit you to call me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
