Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
