I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
