so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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