All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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