Where is the hickey?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
