i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
