I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
