dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
