i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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