He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
