Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize