he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
