apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
