okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
