She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
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i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
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Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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