the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
