he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
