I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
