dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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