I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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