"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
