he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
