Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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