Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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