I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
