Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
