is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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