States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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