My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
