I skipped work to stalk him.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
