if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
