I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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