ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
