She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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