Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
