I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize