I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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