Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
