She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
