we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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