you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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